7 Things to know before planning your same-sex wedding

Weddings can be stressful experiences. There is immense pressure to plan a ‘perfect’ wedding, topped with the responsibility of finding suitable wedding suppliers to partner with. And if you are planning a same-sex wedding you can expect that the stress and difficulty level will be even higher, because you will not have as wide range of vendors to choose from and currently most of the advice out there for planning weddings is aimed at a bride and a groom.

Following is a list of helpful pointers to help you plan your same sex wedding and to help turn your wedding into a memorable affair:

1. Don’t worry about sticking to ‘tradition’!

Instead of stressing about how to make your ceremony line up with tradition, do it your way. Don’t feel as though your wedding must conform to traditional weddings…

Same-sex weddings are already non-traditional, so why not make it your own special day and create your own traditions to start married life.

Many same-sex couples do not have gender-based roles in their wedding, which gives the freedom to plan a wedding your own way and ditch the rules. Do you prefer to walk up the aisle unaccompanied or even together? Want to throw the bouquet together? Want to share a wedding party or even keep the wedding party gender free? The most important thing to remember is that it’s your wedding, so don’t be scared to plan it in your own unique way.

2. Choose a wedding supplier who fully supports LGBTQ weddings.

Although Australia has finally passed the vote to allow same sex couples to marry, there are still unfortunately some wedding vendors who do not support same-sex marriage. The easiest way to deal with this is to make it clear from the get go that you are planning a same-sex marriage. Then any companies that do not support marriage equality can let you know, and you can find a different supplier who does.

If you are not sure if the vendor you like supports same-sex marriage, then it may help to ask the company directly or check for an indication that they are same-sex friendly. Most wedding vendors are supportive of ALL weddings and understand that love is love. But, realistically, you can’t ignore the possibility that some wedding vendors may not have the most welcoming attitude towards working on LGBTQ wedding’s. Giftware Direct openly and fully supports same sex marriage and will never discriminate against any member of the LGBTQ community.

3. Wear something you love and plan it early!

When it comes to the subject of what to wear for your same-sex wedding, there are again no rules. Whatever you are on the hunt for, whether it be two wedding dresses, two tuxedos’, one of each, or even something completely different, the most important thing is for you to feel the most comfortable and confident.

One idea is to coordinate your outfits with each other before the big day, without giving the whole outfit away. This could mean coordinating anything from ties, dress styles, shoes, colours or lengths. You will want to start shopping early. The most difficult outfit to find might be for as woman who decides not to wear a dress, because the perfect outfit can sometimes be hard to find in stores. If you aren’t seeing anything you love, it might be an idea to look into getting your ensemble custom-made or tailored.

A good tip for same-sex couples who are both wearing a dress or a tux, is to each show a photo of your ideas to a friend. They will then be able to steer you both in the right direction to ensure your outfits do not clash with each other’s. No matter what direction you and your partner decide to go with regarding your wedding outfits, it is most important to feel confident in something that is uniquely you.

4. Choose your wedding party based on who you want with you on your big day.

For your Bridal Party, choose the people that you really want up at the altar with you, no matter what gender, and name them to suit. For example, you might have bridesmen, groomsmaids, a man of honor or a best woman, or you could ditch the individual titles and give the whole bridal party a fun name like the “I Do Crew” or “Bridal Brigade.”

Giftware Direct’s Bridal Party gifts can be engraved with any title, so if you don’t have the traditional titles that is no problem, just let us know what titles you need for your gifts and we will change them for you.

5. Create your guest list based on what you want, not what others want.

Just like with any wedding, when you and your partner are establishing your guest list you want to make sure you are only inviting people you really want at your wedding. You will first need to ensure you invite those who are most important to you, such as close friends and family who support your marriage. It is also important to work within your venue’s capacity. If you send out more invites to people than what your venue can hold, then you will be anxious every time you get an RSVP back.

You may feel pressured to include distant family or friends so that nobody gets upset, but if you decide to keep your wedding relatively small, it is OK to leave people who are not that close with you. The easiest way to decide who to leave out is to set some rules. For example, if you or your partner have not spoken to them in 12 months, don’t invite them. You will also need to decide on some rules to do with plus ones and children and stick to these same rules with everyone you invite.

An LGBT couple unfortunately may have to adjust their guest list based on who will be comfortable saying yes, bearing in mind that society covers an extremely broad spectrum of opinions on the topic of gay marriage. Just remind yourselves that the people who are there on your wedding day are the ones who want the best for you!

6. It will be your decision on how you want to have your bachelor/bachelorette parties.

Many same-sex couples still choose to have separate parties, but joint parties are also becoming increasingly popular for same-sex couples. This is yet another aspect of your wedding that you have the freedom over to do how you please! You have the option to go ahead with the traditional separate parties or choose to do something entirely different altogether.

Maybe one partner would much rather have a day of pampering over a crazy night out? Or maybe both brides have mutual friends, so they prefer a joint event than separate celebrations. As with anything wedding related for all couples – it’s all about choosing what’s right for you.

Another popular option is if you and your partner want separate parties but still want to do something together, your parties can take place on the same evening and then meet up later in the evening. You can travel to great bachelor/bachelorette party destinations or keep it local at your favorite spots.

7. Check directory sites to find same-sex wedding vendors!

It is extremely difficult to find wedding vendors who are inclusive of same-sex weddings when you are searching yourself. It is helpful and handy to have a browse on some same-sex wedding directory sites.

These sites can provide inspiration ideas, tips and tricks, and lead you in the direction of local, inclusive vendors. Some good same-sex wedding directory sites to check out are:

• All Gay Weddings – https://allgayweddings.com.au/
• OneLove Wedding Directory – https://oneloveweddingdirectory.com.au/
• Equally Wed – http://www.equallywed.com.au/

Using these services will help to ensure you pick the perfect places and professionals for you and your partners big day and for your LGBTQ guests. If you find the right wedding vendors you will know that everyone can relax at your wedding and enjoy the day in a supportive and inclusive atmosphere.